"This isnt the midnight realm maddy, its just the suburbs"
"Do you like girls? Boys? I like TV shows"
It's a scary movie because growing up in the suburbs was scary. Every day I was scared. Every day I feel like I'm going insane, and it's humiliating. No part of it feels like a place where actual human beings are meant to exist. People around you won't, can't(?) engage with what you say, and make you feel small when you stop saying much of anything. I felt so small.
It really was just me, alone in my room, phone propped up in front of me into the small hours of the night, sleep-deprived with 1 million endless episodes of supernatural in front of me. And with a whole different self I could put on hidden in that closet. And escape was possible, is possible. I'm doing it. I hope I am taking control. I hope I am escaping. I'm digging myself out of that grave, and I don't need to be scared anymore.